It has been a few days since my last post. I think that I am a little better this time than last. I spent this last weekend on "vacation" only about 45 minutes away from where I live. It was fun and I found a little bit of myself again, hanging out with a few friends, talking and remembering, not wanting to go back to my little abode and feel that sense of extreme let down that I get when I get off the freeway and head towards my apartment. As I pulled up to the first stoplight off the freeway I decided that today was the day that I would be okay, that I would hold onto myself with all my strength and think about all I have coming up, what is happening in the present, not about what I don't have. I think too often I let fear invade and then I fall of the "life is good" wagon. Sometimes I feel like I am being dragged behind it, sometimes left behind but not today. Today I am right there in the middle of the wagon, maybe even driving it. As I listen to a live concert all I can think is that I have some Ra Ra Riot in my life and I am doing good.
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